It often starts with laughter, laughing at the absurdity, the suffering, the beauty of it all. One might call it a type of reverie, being lost in daydream, a brief visitation to another realm. Images whirling by in my mind’s eyes. I see my twin daughters in a slow-motion silent film from birth to now, at the precipice of adolescence, and tears begin to form. I feel a great grin overtake my face. I am in so much love reminiscing on the journey of motherhood.
Then my elder kin, mother, aunties, uncles enter the scene. Gratitude washes over me and fear too because I know the time is coming when they will exit stage left and walk out into the bright light of the spirit world and leave me here to fend for myself. More tears start knocking on the door. I surrender to them. Laughing and Crying, loving, and letting go.
By now, my heart is cracked open and other images begin to flood in. And, I cry for that deranged woman on the corner by the supermarket swaddled in a pile of trash; the tent village being bulldozed and wonder where will they go? Who will help them? Then the wars bombard me. I cannot abide the bitter bile of state sanctioned murder, bombs, or incursions. My little girls come to mind. I feel terror and gratitude and sorrow all at once. That I should be so lucky to have the life I have, yet acknowledging I cannot recline in my own comfort as others burn in the fires of war.
In the sobbing, I begin to sense that these are not only my tears. These are all our tears that I am crying. There is no more laughter just the brutality of this divine human experiment, experience, and history. I see the ruts the in the energy field, the well-worn roads and habits that diminish the potential for change and newness, peace, and reconciliation. I am in an altered state. Limp from the release. A calm, washes over me. I take a few deep replenishing breathes. Often, I am in the shower crying with Mami Wata; she soothes me and takes my pain away. I pray for healing.
Crying as a spiritual practice calls on us to embrace our empathy, to confront feelings and situations that we’d rather avoid or repress. Crying as a spiritual practice is expansive, healing and can offer wisdom. We cry for those who cannot when we cry as a spiritual practice. Reiki to the People. May humanity heal.
